A Month of Consistency

Yes, it's been a month. A month of me writing once a week on this. Granted in the overall scheme of things, it's really nothing... but it's a hell of a lot better than what I doing which was... uh... a year and a half hiatus. So... I'm getting better is all I'm saying.

Sure you are, Lon

 

Anyway, despite the improvised feel of my blog, I actually spend time thinking about what I'm gonna write about... which makes most of these posts sad and horrifying at the same time... sordifying? sarrifying? haddifying?... Donald Trumpesque. (Ha HA! Topical!)

However, I think today I'll reward myself if a short post... I know, I know... I'm coping out. But let me assure you more are to come. Longer... Better... dare I say, Thicker?... 

UGH! SO MOIST RIGHT NOW!

 

Now, in the past, I would just load this bad boy with gifs and call it a day... but that was the old Lon (which is a weird thing to say because I am in fact older now... fuck it! THAT WAS THE YOUNG LON!) I was inexperienced and more prone to bouts of laziness... God, I can't stop staring at Tom Hardy... He should be called Tom "Give You a" Hardy.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, so I'm not going to just put a bunch of gifs or funny pictures... Fuckin' Hardy...It's like he knows I'm looking at him and he's winking into my soul.

God... how can women resist him? And it's weird because he actually has lips which is a rare trait for English people. Dead serious... English people have snake faces... No lips. I think they sent most of their lipped population abroad. Now of course, there are some famous English people with lips...

Jagger's face is about 80% mouth/lips

 

But I theorize that the reason Jagger's and Hardy's lips are so big is to compensate for the rest of the English population.

Exhibit A

 

 Not a single lip...

 

Exhibit B

 No one in the picture has lips either... damn Michael Caine is old

 

Exhibit C

 

 

Now Exhibit C is interesting because the Bond second from the left clearly has lips... but here's the problem. That's George Lazenby... He's Australian. All the other Bonds essentially have slits in their faces.

So here's a little homework... try watching the BBC and play "Spot the Lips"... hell, make it a drinking game. Every time you see an Englishman, Welshman, or Scotsman with a pair of actual human lips, take a shot... I bet you will achieve a level of sobriety not thought possible. Now... they can't be immigrants. They need British last names. It can't just be the accent. Australians don't count. Also, I'm not sure if the Irish can be counted... being that they weren't even counted as people until quite recently.

I'm sure that some of you just had your minds blown. I wanna see if I can get this stereotype going. Like the first time you meet someone and ask them if their family is from England and they say "yeah" and you say "yeah, that makes sense" and they say "oh why's that" and you say "because you literally have no lips." Of course, that person won't understand at first. "Is that a thing?" they might think... well... I'M GONNA MAKE IT A THING!

That's all for now. I'm hungry and I'm gonna order food... so... um... I'll see you guys next week.