It was a cold, rainy day in the grey streets of the Lower East Side in Manhattan. In an attempt to get out of the downpour, I had sought refuge in a dingy little bar tucked away off a small street. The neon signs glowed ominously in the haze of New York City.
I immediately took off my soaked coat and hat as soon as I walked into the seemingly deserted establishment. The lights were low, and the only real illumination came from the various beer advertisement signs hanging on the walls of the bar. The atmosphere was straight out of a late 1920s speakeasy that had seen its glory days many years before. Over the bar was a sign. It read Vincent's. That would mean the man behind the bar was the aforementioned Vincent.
I walked up to the bar and looked the bartender in the eye. He was a man in his fifties, definitely Italian, a native New Yorker just by looking at him. His dark heavy eyebrows hung low over his nearly black eyes. A thin moustache stood atop his thick obviously Sicilian lips. I looked up at the sign and back down at him. "So, you must be Vincent."
It turns out that his real name wasn't Vincent at all. He'd bought the place from the original Vincent years ago. Part of the deal was that he would also inherit the name Vincent. He'd absorbed the original Vincent's essence and that was that. He was now the one who donned the name Vincent. After the explanation, I asked what his original name was. As he dried a glass with a rag, he said that it had been forgotten long ago.
Trying desperately to avoid further talking to this man, I ordered a Coke and looked toward the only patron besides myself. He was a man in his seventies who had clearly seen more than any one man should. Wearing a top hat and a dusty tuxedo, he looked like a man who had been on his way to a gala when he was suddenly struck with homelessness and alcoholism. He sat at the end of the bar knocking back a glass of whiskey as I approached him.
"What's with the get up, old timer?" I asked as I leaned facing him against the counter.
"Don't you know who the fuck I am, pup?" he growled back.
Now, my interest was piqued, but I slyly told him I had no idea. He looked at me, his eyes half-cocked and dazed. Clearly he'd been drinking a bit. His lips were pursed and his brow furled. He presented both hands with palms towards me. He didn't break eye contact, and I wasn't going to be shown up by some geezer, so I didn't break it either. In a flash, he reached behind my ear and pulled a comically large coin from behind it.
"Your pussy wet yet, kid?" He grunted smirking. It was. It most certainly was.
He returned to his drink as I stared at him bewildered. What was this man? What sort of sorcery was this? I couldn't keep my eyes off him.
He stared down at his drink for a few moments and said, "I know what you're thinking, kid. How does someone with such skill end up in a bar like this?" He chuckled. "Well, it's quite the tale." He knocked back another glass of whiskey.
I insisted I had time to hear it. He looked over at me studying my face intently. Then, with a quick flurry of his hand, he was holding a deck of cards. He fanned the cards and instructed me to pick any card. He then called me a "pussy." I picked out a card and slowly brought it up, making sure to hide it. What was his game? What was the purpose of this? And where the fuck did those cards come from?
He gazed directly at me. I sat frozen as he peered into his eyes. A moment passed. Then another.
That's when he vomited a flurry of color straight into my face. It was vomit, booze, and a long rope of tied colored scarves that hit me square in the face. "Five of hearts," he belched.
"Uh..." I wiped the chunks off my face as I said, "Yeah."
"Still got it," he grumbled as he collapsed on the floor unconscious. This was immediately followed by the sound of him audibly defecating his trousers. A dove then burst from his waistline and flew frantically in the bar.
Vincent rolled his eyes, picked up a broom to swat the panicked dove, and said, "Not again."
__________________________________________________________________
Tune in next week for more of my Interview with a Magician.
No comments:
Post a Comment