Ramadan

So, I got some bad news. I don't think I can possibly deliver the quality of toilet humor and ridiculous banter that my readership has grown accustomed to while I'm fasting. Fasting essential turns my brain into mush. Not in a bad way... but in a more like... um... not coherent way.

It's weird. There's normal Lon, and then there's Ramadan Lon. Normal Lon smokes way too many cigarettes and drinks way too much coffee and tea. Ramadan Lon doesn't really do that. He usually speaks about himself in the third person... to be honest, he does this in his normal state as well.

When I fast (that is to say that I don't eat or drink anything from the first call to prayer [around 3:30 in the morning] to the fourth call to prayer [about 8:30 in the evening]), time goes by slowly. I like to spend time outside in the shade and just relax.... I know, gay, right?

So, I will have to put my consistency on hold... which by definition means I'm not being consistent. Well, so be it. You guys will live. Also, I won't forget about you. I still owe you Part 2 of the guide to dating.

Let me give you my Ramadan routine though. If I have work, I work. Pretty straight forward there. I also have a habit of falling asleep on the bus to and from work. Fasting makes me tired. If I don't have work, I watch TV series. It has been a Ramadan tradition to watch Adventure Time and as God is my witness, I will not break such a sacred tradition. I also don't play any video games. I'm not sure why though.

Anyway, I will talk to you guys again once Ramadan is over. That'll be... um... June 14th-ish. Don't worry. In the words of the Terminator: "Are you John Connor?" ... wait... no... it's not that line... um... which one is it... it's on the tip of my tongue... um... "Terminate this, fucker!"

No... that's Sarah Connor's line... um... "hasta luego, toddler"

Yeah... that seems right.