I know. I know. I'm late...

I'm not sure when the last time I wrote in here. It's been a month or so. I know... I suck. It happens. But, a lot of things have happened since I last wrote. I mean... there was a lot of nothing happening, but there were things too. Cool things. For example, I think I went to Tekirdağ since the last time I wrote. That's a city west of Istanbul. You say it "Teh-keer-daah." The "g" with the hat thingy is kinda silent... It's more like a French "r" and an super soft Arabic "ghayn." Who am I kidding, none of you motherfuckers know either of those letter.

It's fun to be condescending to my readership.

Anyway, that trip was something magical. I still need to travel to other parts of Turkey, but that will come later.

OH! I forgot! There was a coup attempt! Fuck you, America. I knew it was going to happen, but I wasn't sure when. I was ecstatic when it failed. Turkey is my home. You don't fuck with my home.

Home? But, isn't the US your home?

No. This will be a little hard to understand for my white readership, so let me explain. Home is where you feel comfortable. It is where you feel safe. It is where you feel welcomed. For a lot of you, the States have been the only place you've lived. As white people, America is for you. No one really seriously challenges your American-ness or right to be there. Sure, you occasionally have to look at a meme where there are Native Americans saying that you're an illegal immigrant, but that's a fuckin' meme, man. Not serious political action. You feel bad for like 5 minutes and then go on being happy or whatever white people do. I find it interesting that at this point, one of my friends would burst out "BUT YOU'RE WHITE!"

Ah... I forget on the count that when I have to fill out job applications that I can't honestly check that little box that says "White (Non-Hispanic)."

When your complexion and your ethnic group contradict.

Sure, my complexion is white. I'm not arguing that. But, let's get one thing straight; my skin has nothing to do with my culture or ethnic group. What's worse is that, as a Latino that passes for white, I get to hear all the fucked-up things people think about Latinos. I would put Mexicans, but honestly, most people don't know the difference. Do you? Can you point to Puerto Rico on a map? Don't google it. Right now... point to it on a map... I'll wait.

So that was fun, wasn't it? You might be saying, "Why should I need to know where Puerto Rico is?" Funny you should ask that. You see, we are a colony of the US. Sure, it's called a "commonwealth," but the Democratic Republic of Congo is called a "democratic republic," too. See how words are fun? See how this is a segue to a whole other topic? Aren't I a cheeky little bastard? SEGUE!

I got no time for pussy when I'm on my segue!

Now, Puerto Rico has been a colony since aboooooout 1898. Now being a Spanish-speaking island under the US during the early 1900s wasn't necessarily the best position to be in. A lot of fucked up shit happened. Believe you me. After completely destroying our independence movement and buying up most of our agricultural property through one-sided deals with a select few locals who sold out the future of our island, we are faced with a slight inevitable problem. Government funding. Puerto Rico can't choose who it trades with. It can't openly compete with American companies. It exists as a source of resources for American corporations. Oh! And it is a tax haven also. Don't forget that. Convenient. 

Now, the government of Puerto Rico is in a temporarily-halted massive debt spiral of doom. I think it's the US's responsibility to pay it off. 

WHAAAAT?!

Hear me out. The system in place is because of our "special" relationship with the US. We've given so much to the States (resources, people, soldiers, culture, tax havens, visa-free Caribbean getaway). We are in around 70 billion dollars of debt. Plus, you give Israel billions every year in free aid. Israel isn't even your fucking country. You know what that says? It says that you prefer to support an apartheid state than aid American citizens, which Puerto Ricans are. I say Puerto Rico gives its debtors the US's number and tell them that the US has the money. Apparently it does if it can continue to send billions of dollars to Israel simply for existing. Why doesn't the US make Israel the colony and let Puerto Rico go? They keep giving us the "opportunity to become a state," but that will never pass Congress. 

Anyway, that's it for now. There'll be more. Meehhh

Lon's Guide to Becoming a Turk

So, you want to become a Turk... Good. It's a fairly easy process... sort of. Wait... are you American? Oh... then, it will be a difficult process filled with confusion, fear, self-doubt, and a nagging sense of being uncomfortable. Luckily for me, I'm more Puerto Rican (culturally speaking), so it wasn't too difficult for me. Anyway, this is the guide to become Turkish! YAY!

And this is a picture of the Iron Sheikh wrestling a gummy worm

 

Step 1) Language

 

Do you speak any language other than Turkish? Yes? STOP IT! Real Turks only speak Turkish... Unless you're from the southeast of Turkey... then, chances are that you speak Kurdish. If that is the case, STOP IT! Never mention Kurdish. Yes, it exists, but you shouldn't acknowledge it exists. Always mutter something about the PKK. Make sure you do that in Turkish. Is your family from the southeast? Guess what? They never spoke Kurdish. Never. Your grandparents never spoke Kurdish. Your neighbors never spoke Kurdish. What's Kurdish? Is that like a salad dressing? Do you put it on hotdogs? Now, you're getting the hang of it.

Turkish is a great language. Just remember that the "c" makes a hard "j" sound. Always. The name "Can" sounds exactly like the English name "John." You don't smoke cigarettes; you drink jigarets. Drink up, baby.

Also, there are two g's. One is normal. It's the "g" as in "golf." The other has a weird hat on it. "Ğ" is the "silent g." The jury is out on whether or not it is the "silent yet deadly g." You pronounce it like a French "r." How do you pronounce a French "r"? Ummm... I... um... Moving on.

Remember that English won't put the hat on the "g," so you have to guess if it is there in words. For example, it's in yogurt. Feel betrayed yet? We'll come back to yogurt later.

"I'm waiting for you."

 

Step 2) Turkish Pride

 

 

You see that flag right there? Sexy isn't it? You will learn to love this flag. You will put it everywhere. Oh, and remember the Ottoman Empire. You know, that empire that lasted over 500 years and was a cosmopolitan mix of a vast amount of cultures, peoples, and ethnicities? It's only Turkish now. Only the Turks can claim it as theirs despite any evidence to the contrary. Fuck you that's why!

Do you like wolves? Of course you do! You're Turkish! Don't listen to those assholes that say you evolved from monkeys! Also, I know you're Muslim (and we will get to that point later) and it says that God made you from clay, but that's wrong too. You were made from grey wolves. Keep in mind that you are not a werewolf nor do you ever transform into a wolf at any time. Regular bullets can still kill you. They don't have to be silver. Just a heads up.

Try to remember the many contributions that Turks have given the world in the forms of cuisine. Baklava, Turkish coffee, yogurt, kebab, YOGURT! Whenever a foreigner mentions Greeks, go into a rabid fury about how those Greek bastards have stolen all these Turkish innovations. They really are thieving bastards. Those Greek thieving bastards.

 

Oh! and tea.

 

 

You will drink roughly 10 in a day. The max amount of sugar per cup is two sugar cubes. Anything more and you're basically an Arab... and no one wants to be an Arab. Damn sugar-loving Arabs.

Also, did something happen outside of Turkey? Who the fuck cares! Tune it out. Only Turkey matters. There's famine in Africa? Is Africa in Turkey? Nope! Don't care. Even when it comes to the politics of neighbors and those politics directly affect Turkey, you don't care. The civil war in Syria? What's your point? It isn't Turkey. Do I look like one of those sugar-loving Arabs? I don't care about anything outside of Turkey.

 

Step 3) Islam

 

You're Muslim now! Surprise!

 

Right now, it is Ramazan (or Ramadan in English, but you're wrong; it's Ramazan). Are you fasting? Don't worry, you don't need to. Just pretend you are right before iftar (dinner after sundown). Just don't drink water (easy), smoke (little harder), or drink tea (FUCKIN' IMPOSSIBLE) for a couple of hours before sundown. Look solemn and concentrated as you pretend to have been fasting the whole day. Make all the arrangements to have iftar. If anything goes wrong with the plan, get upset because remember... you've been fasting for the last hour and a half.

But what if you are actually fasting? Good for you. Don't worry about prayer though. Yes, you should pray five times a day, but let's get serious. You're fasting. That should be enough for God. It's definitely enough for you. Maybe, God shouldn't be so demanding. God should be happy that you're fasting. God should be grateful that you've decided to follow the rules. He should be happy that you decided to stop drinking on Friday nights during Ramazan. Other nights don't count because God is sleeping those nights. Shhhh! Don't wake him up.

Now, you're Muslim, and there's a thing about not having sex before marriage. Sure, there's butt sex. That doesn't count as sex because it's in the butt. That's why the butt is there... unless I'm missing something. However, maybe you just want regular ol' sex. It's okay... you can tell Lon. If you're a girl, this is easy. Step one is to find a guy. Rinse and repeat.

If you're a guy, finding a girl might be a little more difficult. Don't be thrown off by the girls with hijab. They get down too. You must never say it directly though. NEVER. You can hint at it. NEVER ASK A GIRL IF SHE IS A VIRGIN! YOU WILL GET SLAPPED! You can figure it out other ways. Ask if she is traditional or not. Traditional means she is waiting for marriage so you can only do butt stuff. Not traditional means she is good to go. 

 

Lucky for you, Turkish women are gorgeous. Remember that.

Now for my Shi'a friends... you may not be disturbed by this. All you gotta do is find a Shi'a girl and have a nikah mut'ah. NOPE! No one does that here. Not a single girl will agree to that. Even if they aren't traditional, they will never agree to mut'ah. Go ahead... explain how it is halal. See how far that gets you (answer: nowhere). 

Also, the term Shi'a (Shii in Turkish). You have to be more specific. There are a few types of Shii here. The most popular is Alevi. They are groovy people, but they aren't what you're used to if you're an Arab Shi'i. Then, there are the Bektashi. They are from Trakya (Thrace). They are also groovy, but again... not what you're used to. The one you're looking for is Jaferi... but wait... they are also known as Azeri... like people from Azerbaijan. It's a little confusing because Turks know Shii, but not necessarily Jaferi. You have to say you are Azeri even though you aren't from Azerbaijan. It's complicated, man... that's why I'm writing this down. 

Final Thoughts

 

Now, this is by no means a complete guide. I'm writing this at 12 o' clock at night... I want to go to sleep. I have work in the morning. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?! Anyway, this should be a good start on your journey to... BECOMING TURKISH!

I'm in a constant state of disappointing myself.

And you all thought I was crazy for leaving

Judging by the outcome of the presidential primaries, I'm sure a lot of you are desperate to find a way to leave America. Worry not, my good friends. Papa Lon (fuck it, that's what I'm referring to myself at the moment) has your back. But... let us first pause as I soak in this glorious moment of "I-fucking-told-you-so."

Is that a hint of hazelnut I detect? 

Now first, let's analyze this situation. So we got Trump and Hillary... and you guys are fucked. What's sad is that most of the world is focused on Trump. I get it. He's absolutely insane. He says terrible things, but that's the thing... they are just words. Hillary on the other hand... well, we'll play a little game.- YAY!-

The game is to see how many articles I can reference to her past horrific actions and current stances. Are you ready?

Hillary Clinton and Libya - 1

Hillary Clinton and Libya - 2

Hillary Clinton and Libya - 3

Hillary Clinton and Palestine - 1

Hillary Clinton and Money and Selling Cabinet Positions - 1

Hillary Clinton and the Honduran Coup - 1

Hillary Clinton and the Honduran Coup - 2

Hillary Clinton and South Sudan and Child Soldiers - 1

Hillary Clinton and Approving of Drone Assassinations via Personal Cellphone 

Hillary Clinton and Syria - 1

Hillary Clinton and Intimidating a Rape Victim of Her Husband

Hillary Clinton and the Child Rape Victim - 1 

So, what can you do? You have two horrible choices. You are simply voting against the candidate you want to lose. Ah, Democracy. This is what we demand other countries have.

Oh! And guns. Yes, we have the Second Amendment, but Fuck that Amendment. Now, hear me out...

I'm not saying this because I don't think you shouldn't have guns. I'm saying this because no one in America uses them correctly. Hunting? Self-protection against other citizens? Mass shootings? No! NO! NOOOOO! It's all wrong.

We have guns for the sole purpose of arming a militia to fight a tyrannical government. Well, the government has been tyrannical for some time now, and we still demand no one shoots a cop. We still stand up to support the people who oppress us today or will oppress us tomorrow. So guess what, America? You've lost your right to have guns because you were too cowardly to put your lives on the line for your country. No, going to Iraq is not fighting for your country. You're fighting for corporate interests. Don't be mad at me for stating the obvious. I think deep down, you always knew. It's okay. You can cry on my shoulder. Let it out... shhh shhhh... let it out.

Anyway, if you want to leave America (no, Canada is not an option), you have to be skilled labor. For example, I am an ESL teacher. I have a certification and what-not. I'm all set to go. Any engineers reading this? Yeah, you can make your way over here. Oh, you might want to learn another language. It tends to help.

If you want to get certified to teach English... it'll cost you a bit, and you're going to need some free time. The best certification is CELTA. Trust me, it's the tits. You can go anywhere with that shit. Maybe, you aren't ready for that kind of commitment. Maybe, you just want to get your toe in the water. Maybe, you're a little bitch.

If that be the case, just search for TESL certification. It has many names. TEFL, TESOL, Larry.

Anyway, so I'm fasting right now... you know... Ramadan. It's more than just not eating. It's not smoking or drinking.

You get used to it. Trust me, the not-drinking-anything makes the not-eating-anything way easier. Hopefully that sentence made sense. The only thing I don't like about Ramadan is my breath. It is not pleasant. Mine right now is a borderline war crime.

Anyway, that's it for now.

I have returned

Alright, so it's been some time. To be fair, I've been working everyday for the last month. Now, is this an adequate excuse? No, of course it isn't. Have I had better things to do? No. No I have not.

Anyway, first matter of business. No updates on women.

Well, sort of.

Well, not really.

I don't know. Anyway, moving on.

I'm feeling a little lethargic right now. I don't want to do any of the gifs and stuff.

So, no one tell my dad, but I've started working out. He must never know. If you are reading this, Dad, UNREAD IT IMMEDIATELY.

I think this is going to be an incredibly underwhelming post. During Ramadan (Ramazan in Turkish), I'll be writing more in this.

So, uh... yeeeeeeeeeah.

Istanbul is amazing as always. I'm still waiting to be legal here. Meh. The new owner of my school fuckin' sucks. Pay has been late and I'm still waiting to be legal. I can't leave until I'm legal, and I want to visit my friend Manal in Lebanon while she is there. DID I MENTION SHE'S FINALLY SINGLE. I mean... granted she was going to get married and move to Brazil. I don't know if she dodged a bullet or didn't dodge a bullet... I don't know what the opposite of dodging a figurative bullet is. Maybe, she got figuratively shot by a bullet. Moral of the story is don't play with figurative guns.

Hopefully, she doesn't ask too much about that last paragraph... I probably shouldn't write this part... Why am I still writing? Oh god, I can't stop. Uh-uh-uh-I-uh-I-um... I sharted myself yesterday. God, that wasn't the best transition. I just had to switch topics. I think this has just gotten worse. Sadly, the shart was true. I must've eaten some bad kebap. It was not a fun day. Why am I sharing this? NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS.

God, I need to shave.

That's it. I'll write more later.

so hear me out on this...

Yeah, I know. It's been some time since updating this thing. I've been busy. Currently, I'm working 7 days a week. I'm doing my roommate (we'll call her Dr. Sanchez) a solid. Dr. Sanchez has a new job, and works 7 days a week, too, but to alleviate the burden, I decided to take her evening classes on Thursday and Friday. My sanity is slowly slipping, which is good for all of you because my ridiculous imagination kicks into 5th gear (6th gear, depending on the vehicle) when I am exhausted. WEEEEEE!

So, you know how I said that the first girl, Dilek, was out of my life... well... NOPE!

She messages me out of the blue. FUCKIN' TYPICAL! I met with her last Friday for lunch. Then, the other girl I was seeing didn't work out. That's okay. It's a good kind of "didn't work out." So now, I have some prospects along with Dilek, the Turkish She-Devil. Moving on...

So, I know a lot of you in the States are freaking out about Donald Trump and his insane antics. I'mma get to that. Now, I started thinking... What if he is right? Well, I mean... what if he is right about the wall along the border? Hear me out...

Now, what is Mexico's biggest export? Cheap labor? Agricultural goods? Tacos? GOD! PLEASE TELL ME IT'S TACOS!

No.

It's...

Chupacabras.

That's right. Chupacabras.

"What exactly is a chupacabra" you may be asking. Shut up. I'll tell you.

Based on my amateur research, a quick peruse of the Wikipedia page, a tendency to jump to conclusions, and somethings I flat-out made up, I will explain what these foul demons are and why Donald Trump is our savior.

That above is a chupacabra. They stand at about 3 feet (1 meter... or yard... you know, I don't know metric... 1 metric yard). Normally, they feast on the blood of goats, but lately, they've had a taste for a different sort of blood. That's right... people. Think I'm making that up? GUESS AGAIN!

Cute-a-cabra

 

According to the Mexican Daily Siesta Gazette, a highly-respected and in-no-way-fake newspaper, thousands of Mexicans have been attacked and killed by these monsters. 

So what? Dead Mexicans.

NOT SO WHAT!

Every Mexican killed turns into another CHUPACABRA (and I am in no way mixing chupacabras with zombies). Soon, they will be an army. A CHUPACABRARMY (don't try to say that word aloud... I wrote it and even I am not entirely sure how to pronounce it).

So why isn't this in the mainstream media? BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALREADY INFILTRATED OUR MEDIA CORPORATIONS! OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE! I'M WRITING IN ALL-CAPS ON THE INTERNET! IT MUST BE TRUE!

Only our glorious savior, Donald Trump, can save us from the Chupanati (or the Chupacabra Illuminati). 

Now, I know what you're thinking. How will a wall stop the Chupa-invasion? 

Duh! Chupacabras can only be stopped by walls. How do you not know that? Everyone knows that. Shame... shame on you.

So, why should Mexico pay for the wall? I know... I know... you short-sighted bastard... I know you are asking this. Again, you disappoint me.

Chupacabras are financially irresponsible and also have a hoard of gold. When pressed, they cannot say no to any requests for money. Mr. Trump knows this. 

Moral of the story: Vote Trump. Stop Chupacabras.

Meh... that's all I got today.

I'm really bad at consistency

Okay... Okay... I can't remember the last time I updated this. I should be ashamed of myself. I really should... buuuuuuuuuut... yeah, I am. I was going to try and play it cool like I wasn't phased... fazed?... phased... I teach English, fuck you.

Anyway, I sprained my ankle walking home at night. AFTER I KISSED A GIRL! WOOOoooooOOOOOoooo... I don't think she saw me fall after she got in her car. Hopefully, she callously drove away. I CAN ONLY HOPE SHE'S THAT CALLOUS.

So, a lot has happened since last I wrote... or at least I think. I know I've had a series of funny thoughts. I can't remember any of them now. I'm sorry. That was kinda a tease...

DISTRACTION!

Well, that was fun while it lasted. Oh! So, important notice. This is a different girl than the girl from earlier posts. That other girl is dead to me... until a booty call. Let's get serious... I may have the willpower not to grovel, but if prompted, I would gladly drop my pants and drill my wiener into her vagina as if I were in a post-apocalyptic world and there was oil in there. By the way, YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE VISUAL.

So, I need code-names for these women... so, the original chick will be designated as Chick Unfortunately Not Tapping... or CUNT for show... what's sad is that I took a minute to think that up and it's such a poor joke that I refuse to use. I am ashamed. Utterly ashamed. Let's call her... uhhhhhh... Dilek. Fuck it, I'm just using her name. From here on forward, all ex's or past attempted conquests (I know... that's misogynistic, but I cannot for the life of me think of better wording. Maybe... failed-attempts-to-consentually-fornicate-with.... nope... too wordy...) will be referenced by their first name. Sure, some of you have never heard of this name... it's okay. You don't live in Turkey. IT'S SUPER COMMON. So, Dilek is outta the picture.

Good news... there are some other candidates. Now, I'm not a player. First, I barely have game when speaking English, let alone Turkish. Second, I might be being INCREDIBLY optimistic to the point of delusion (Not even the glass is half-full... more like "that glass totally wants the D.") Third, I usually work one at a time or seriously pursue one at a time. I think this is what they call normal dating. Maybe.... I've heard of this concept from third-hand renditions of the premise of Sex and the City. I'm totally a Miranda... I have no idea what that means. Is there a Jessica? Michelle? Chloe? I don't know. I only know there's a Miranda... I digress.

So, let me tell you a school (yeah, Daddy-O... I'm so lonely). If you want to talk to ladies in foreign countries and you are reading this, offer to teach them English in exchange for learning their language. It helps learning English and being around beautiful foreign women. It's okay if you look like gay hobbit... you have something that all the good-looking local men don't have. An American/ Canadian/ British/ Australian/ New Zealand-er... New Zealandian... New Zealandi... Kiwi Passport. YAY! Just keep playing the fact that you are looking for a wife. Never mention that you're poor. NEVER.

Anyway... I'm sleepy. I did this. Done. Finished. Blaaaaaaaaam-O.

Bye.

All that jazz

Alright, so I'm writing this because I know if I don't, I will have a mutiny on my hands. No one likes a mutiny. No one.

So, I have two things on my plate... the election and the Atlanta Heroin Epidemic. Let's tackle the more positive of the two issues: the Heroin epidemic.

Now, I've lost a good number of friends to this latest epidemic. I feel for the families and friends who've seen this first hand. I'm not going to come at this from a personal perspective. It sucks, and that's all there is to it. At the same time it bothers me in a big way...

Here is Atlanta's Heroin Triangle

Where my family stays at is at the very cusp of the triangle near 285 and 85. There is a good reason why my family isn't in that triangle. Ready for the reason? It's because we poo' folks. Plain and simple. Now, there have been heroin epidemics in the past, as well as cocaine and other epidemics, but this one is special. The casualties have almost exclusively been middle-to-upper class young white adults. Again, a loss is a loss is a loss.

Don't lose me just yet. I'll bring it back, and we'll all learn something. You gotta just sift through this.

When it was blacks and Latinos, it was business as usual. When our communities struggle with addiction and overdose, it's status quo. That's what I don't like. 

I want to grieve with you. I want to be there during these tragedies, but there is this distance. I'm not sure it would get the publicity or sympathy if it were my people- if it were blacks and Latinos. There wouldn't be feeling of bewilderment, the "how could this happen" feeling. It would be more of the "oh, man, that sucks, but you know how life is in the hood" response. I'm not saying life in the hood ain't like that. Nah, son, life in the hood is DEFINITELY like that, but why is it okay for their to be consistent tragedy in the hood and not take place where you stay at? 

So I'm a little heated. I don't like making this political. I don't like making this into a statement, but it nags me. Don't tell me "we are all human beings" when bad shit happens on your side of town, and then tell me "well, that's just how things go" when it happens on mine. Treat our drug addicts with the same compassion you treat yours. 

Look, I've noticed this for a while, and this goes to mostly my recovering Alcoholics Anonymous folks... There is more we can do for our young black brothers and sisters in Atlanta. I know a lot of you folks wanna get into the recovery business, and that's cool, but let's work something out with the court systems of Atlanta. Let's work something out with the probation officers. Let's just work something out. I've been in the rooms for a while (more than 12 years), and my biggest regret is not reaching out more to my people. I stayed comfortable. I helped white kid after white kid get sober, and there isn't anything wrong with that, but I know in my heart that I could've reached out to my brothers. If anyone in Atlanta needs the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, it's the black youth and it's gotta be us who bring it to them. Trust me, I wrote my senior history thesis on the history of Georgia AA in the Jim Crow South. We can't just say "we'll help them when they show up." Nah, the system isn't set up like that. White kids go to rehab, black kids go to jail. I'm sorry, but that's how it goes. 

That is one of the few things I admired about Complete Abandon. They didn't discriminate. So when people started talking shit about them, I'm like... yeah, true... but they're helping my people and you're not. Just saying.

Story of my life

 

Alright, now for the election... I just can't... I don't have it in me... WAIT! I don't have to! I forgot one important thing!

HEROIN!

 

I did not mean to leave the bold face on... ummm... hopefully I don't get flagged or anything.

So, heroin. Funny how it's made such a massive comeback in recent years. It's cheaper than ever, more accessible than ever, and quite possibly purer than ever. This is why it's such a problem, is it not? Well, there is some speculation that our little shitbag buddies in the Middle East (it rhymes with SmIsis) have been getting large amount of money from... you guessed it... HEROIN! YAAAAAY! 

So, the terrorists are winning? No... stop being stupid... I mean, yes they are... but not in the way you are thinking... UGH... WHATEVER! 

As I've stated before, Da'ush (ISIS) is merely a group of street thugs with beards that follow instructions from Washington. However, with something like that, you gotta keep operations off "official books." What's a great way to keep shit off the books? SELLING DRUGS! YAY! And guess what? We did the exact same thing during Vietnam in Laos! It's not even an original idea. Go figure, it also is the perfect time to do so because of such political unrest, especially amongst millennials. By the way... who is the hardest hit demographic in this recent heroin epidemic? Millennials? Weird, right? Back in the 60s and 70s with Laotian heroin, the hardest hit demographic was inner-city blacks in NYC, Chicago, LA, etc. You know, areas where there was a lot of activity from the Black Panthers, NOI, and other pro-black resistance movements. Thank God that nothing like that happened during the 80s with the resurgence of pro-black resistance... oh wait... CRACK! But, where did we get the cocoa- ... oh yeah, Reagan's War of Drugs... 

You see a pattern yet?

Drugs never left, but when their is domestic turmoil and Keeping Up With the Kardashians isn't keeping everyone in line, just pump up the supply of hard drugs (making them accessible and cheap in the areas you want them to be). It's like Flavor of Love that you inject! 

To think that this was one of the faces of Public Enemy...

 

...Cocaine... helluva drug