I have returned

Alright, so it's been some time. To be fair, I've been working everyday for the last month. Now, is this an adequate excuse? No, of course it isn't. Have I had better things to do? No. No I have not.

Anyway, first matter of business. No updates on women.

Well, sort of.

Well, not really.

I don't know. Anyway, moving on.

I'm feeling a little lethargic right now. I don't want to do any of the gifs and stuff.

So, no one tell my dad, but I've started working out. He must never know. If you are reading this, Dad, UNREAD IT IMMEDIATELY.

I think this is going to be an incredibly underwhelming post. During Ramadan (Ramazan in Turkish), I'll be writing more in this.

So, uh... yeeeeeeeeeah.

Istanbul is amazing as always. I'm still waiting to be legal here. Meh. The new owner of my school fuckin' sucks. Pay has been late and I'm still waiting to be legal. I can't leave until I'm legal, and I want to visit my friend Manal in Lebanon while she is there. DID I MENTION SHE'S FINALLY SINGLE. I mean... granted she was going to get married and move to Brazil. I don't know if she dodged a bullet or didn't dodge a bullet... I don't know what the opposite of dodging a figurative bullet is. Maybe, she got figuratively shot by a bullet. Moral of the story is don't play with figurative guns.

Hopefully, she doesn't ask too much about that last paragraph... I probably shouldn't write this part... Why am I still writing? Oh god, I can't stop. Uh-uh-uh-I-uh-I-um... I sharted myself yesterday. God, that wasn't the best transition. I just had to switch topics. I think this has just gotten worse. Sadly, the shart was true. I must've eaten some bad kebap. It was not a fun day. Why am I sharing this? NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS.

God, I need to shave.

That's it. I'll write more later.

so hear me out on this...

Yeah, I know. It's been some time since updating this thing. I've been busy. Currently, I'm working 7 days a week. I'm doing my roommate (we'll call her Dr. Sanchez) a solid. Dr. Sanchez has a new job, and works 7 days a week, too, but to alleviate the burden, I decided to take her evening classes on Thursday and Friday. My sanity is slowly slipping, which is good for all of you because my ridiculous imagination kicks into 5th gear (6th gear, depending on the vehicle) when I am exhausted. WEEEEEE!

So, you know how I said that the first girl, Dilek, was out of my life... well... NOPE!

She messages me out of the blue. FUCKIN' TYPICAL! I met with her last Friday for lunch. Then, the other girl I was seeing didn't work out. That's okay. It's a good kind of "didn't work out." So now, I have some prospects along with Dilek, the Turkish She-Devil. Moving on...

So, I know a lot of you in the States are freaking out about Donald Trump and his insane antics. I'mma get to that. Now, I started thinking... What if he is right? Well, I mean... what if he is right about the wall along the border? Hear me out...

Now, what is Mexico's biggest export? Cheap labor? Agricultural goods? Tacos? GOD! PLEASE TELL ME IT'S TACOS!

No.

It's...

Chupacabras.

That's right. Chupacabras.

"What exactly is a chupacabra" you may be asking. Shut up. I'll tell you.

Based on my amateur research, a quick peruse of the Wikipedia page, a tendency to jump to conclusions, and somethings I flat-out made up, I will explain what these foul demons are and why Donald Trump is our savior.

That above is a chupacabra. They stand at about 3 feet (1 meter... or yard... you know, I don't know metric... 1 metric yard). Normally, they feast on the blood of goats, but lately, they've had a taste for a different sort of blood. That's right... people. Think I'm making that up? GUESS AGAIN!

Cute-a-cabra

 

According to the Mexican Daily Siesta Gazette, a highly-respected and in-no-way-fake newspaper, thousands of Mexicans have been attacked and killed by these monsters. 

So what? Dead Mexicans.

NOT SO WHAT!

Every Mexican killed turns into another CHUPACABRA (and I am in no way mixing chupacabras with zombies). Soon, they will be an army. A CHUPACABRARMY (don't try to say that word aloud... I wrote it and even I am not entirely sure how to pronounce it).

So why isn't this in the mainstream media? BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALREADY INFILTRATED OUR MEDIA CORPORATIONS! OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE! I'M WRITING IN ALL-CAPS ON THE INTERNET! IT MUST BE TRUE!

Only our glorious savior, Donald Trump, can save us from the Chupanati (or the Chupacabra Illuminati). 

Now, I know what you're thinking. How will a wall stop the Chupa-invasion? 

Duh! Chupacabras can only be stopped by walls. How do you not know that? Everyone knows that. Shame... shame on you.

So, why should Mexico pay for the wall? I know... I know... you short-sighted bastard... I know you are asking this. Again, you disappoint me.

Chupacabras are financially irresponsible and also have a hoard of gold. When pressed, they cannot say no to any requests for money. Mr. Trump knows this. 

Moral of the story: Vote Trump. Stop Chupacabras.

Meh... that's all I got today.

I'm really bad at consistency

Okay... Okay... I can't remember the last time I updated this. I should be ashamed of myself. I really should... buuuuuuuuuut... yeah, I am. I was going to try and play it cool like I wasn't phased... fazed?... phased... I teach English, fuck you.

Anyway, I sprained my ankle walking home at night. AFTER I KISSED A GIRL! WOOOoooooOOOOOoooo... I don't think she saw me fall after she got in her car. Hopefully, she callously drove away. I CAN ONLY HOPE SHE'S THAT CALLOUS.

So, a lot has happened since last I wrote... or at least I think. I know I've had a series of funny thoughts. I can't remember any of them now. I'm sorry. That was kinda a tease...

DISTRACTION!

Well, that was fun while it lasted. Oh! So, important notice. This is a different girl than the girl from earlier posts. That other girl is dead to me... until a booty call. Let's get serious... I may have the willpower not to grovel, but if prompted, I would gladly drop my pants and drill my wiener into her vagina as if I were in a post-apocalyptic world and there was oil in there. By the way, YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE VISUAL.

So, I need code-names for these women... so, the original chick will be designated as Chick Unfortunately Not Tapping... or CUNT for show... what's sad is that I took a minute to think that up and it's such a poor joke that I refuse to use. I am ashamed. Utterly ashamed. Let's call her... uhhhhhh... Dilek. Fuck it, I'm just using her name. From here on forward, all ex's or past attempted conquests (I know... that's misogynistic, but I cannot for the life of me think of better wording. Maybe... failed-attempts-to-consentually-fornicate-with.... nope... too wordy...) will be referenced by their first name. Sure, some of you have never heard of this name... it's okay. You don't live in Turkey. IT'S SUPER COMMON. So, Dilek is outta the picture.

Good news... there are some other candidates. Now, I'm not a player. First, I barely have game when speaking English, let alone Turkish. Second, I might be being INCREDIBLY optimistic to the point of delusion (Not even the glass is half-full... more like "that glass totally wants the D.") Third, I usually work one at a time or seriously pursue one at a time. I think this is what they call normal dating. Maybe.... I've heard of this concept from third-hand renditions of the premise of Sex and the City. I'm totally a Miranda... I have no idea what that means. Is there a Jessica? Michelle? Chloe? I don't know. I only know there's a Miranda... I digress.

So, let me tell you a school (yeah, Daddy-O... I'm so lonely). If you want to talk to ladies in foreign countries and you are reading this, offer to teach them English in exchange for learning their language. It helps learning English and being around beautiful foreign women. It's okay if you look like gay hobbit... you have something that all the good-looking local men don't have. An American/ Canadian/ British/ Australian/ New Zealand-er... New Zealandian... New Zealandi... Kiwi Passport. YAY! Just keep playing the fact that you are looking for a wife. Never mention that you're poor. NEVER.

Anyway... I'm sleepy. I did this. Done. Finished. Blaaaaaaaaam-O.

Bye.

All that jazz

Alright, so I'm writing this because I know if I don't, I will have a mutiny on my hands. No one likes a mutiny. No one.

So, I have two things on my plate... the election and the Atlanta Heroin Epidemic. Let's tackle the more positive of the two issues: the Heroin epidemic.

Now, I've lost a good number of friends to this latest epidemic. I feel for the families and friends who've seen this first hand. I'm not going to come at this from a personal perspective. It sucks, and that's all there is to it. At the same time it bothers me in a big way...

Here is Atlanta's Heroin Triangle

Where my family stays at is at the very cusp of the triangle near 285 and 85. There is a good reason why my family isn't in that triangle. Ready for the reason? It's because we poo' folks. Plain and simple. Now, there have been heroin epidemics in the past, as well as cocaine and other epidemics, but this one is special. The casualties have almost exclusively been middle-to-upper class young white adults. Again, a loss is a loss is a loss.

Don't lose me just yet. I'll bring it back, and we'll all learn something. You gotta just sift through this.

When it was blacks and Latinos, it was business as usual. When our communities struggle with addiction and overdose, it's status quo. That's what I don't like. 

I want to grieve with you. I want to be there during these tragedies, but there is this distance. I'm not sure it would get the publicity or sympathy if it were my people- if it were blacks and Latinos. There wouldn't be feeling of bewilderment, the "how could this happen" feeling. It would be more of the "oh, man, that sucks, but you know how life is in the hood" response. I'm not saying life in the hood ain't like that. Nah, son, life in the hood is DEFINITELY like that, but why is it okay for their to be consistent tragedy in the hood and not take place where you stay at? 

So I'm a little heated. I don't like making this political. I don't like making this into a statement, but it nags me. Don't tell me "we are all human beings" when bad shit happens on your side of town, and then tell me "well, that's just how things go" when it happens on mine. Treat our drug addicts with the same compassion you treat yours. 

Look, I've noticed this for a while, and this goes to mostly my recovering Alcoholics Anonymous folks... There is more we can do for our young black brothers and sisters in Atlanta. I know a lot of you folks wanna get into the recovery business, and that's cool, but let's work something out with the court systems of Atlanta. Let's work something out with the probation officers. Let's just work something out. I've been in the rooms for a while (more than 12 years), and my biggest regret is not reaching out more to my people. I stayed comfortable. I helped white kid after white kid get sober, and there isn't anything wrong with that, but I know in my heart that I could've reached out to my brothers. If anyone in Atlanta needs the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, it's the black youth and it's gotta be us who bring it to them. Trust me, I wrote my senior history thesis on the history of Georgia AA in the Jim Crow South. We can't just say "we'll help them when they show up." Nah, the system isn't set up like that. White kids go to rehab, black kids go to jail. I'm sorry, but that's how it goes. 

That is one of the few things I admired about Complete Abandon. They didn't discriminate. So when people started talking shit about them, I'm like... yeah, true... but they're helping my people and you're not. Just saying.

Story of my life

 

Alright, now for the election... I just can't... I don't have it in me... WAIT! I don't have to! I forgot one important thing!

HEROIN!

 

I did not mean to leave the bold face on... ummm... hopefully I don't get flagged or anything.

So, heroin. Funny how it's made such a massive comeback in recent years. It's cheaper than ever, more accessible than ever, and quite possibly purer than ever. This is why it's such a problem, is it not? Well, there is some speculation that our little shitbag buddies in the Middle East (it rhymes with SmIsis) have been getting large amount of money from... you guessed it... HEROIN! YAAAAAY! 

So, the terrorists are winning? No... stop being stupid... I mean, yes they are... but not in the way you are thinking... UGH... WHATEVER! 

As I've stated before, Da'ush (ISIS) is merely a group of street thugs with beards that follow instructions from Washington. However, with something like that, you gotta keep operations off "official books." What's a great way to keep shit off the books? SELLING DRUGS! YAY! And guess what? We did the exact same thing during Vietnam in Laos! It's not even an original idea. Go figure, it also is the perfect time to do so because of such political unrest, especially amongst millennials. By the way... who is the hardest hit demographic in this recent heroin epidemic? Millennials? Weird, right? Back in the 60s and 70s with Laotian heroin, the hardest hit demographic was inner-city blacks in NYC, Chicago, LA, etc. You know, areas where there was a lot of activity from the Black Panthers, NOI, and other pro-black resistance movements. Thank God that nothing like that happened during the 80s with the resurgence of pro-black resistance... oh wait... CRACK! But, where did we get the cocoa- ... oh yeah, Reagan's War of Drugs... 

You see a pattern yet?

Drugs never left, but when their is domestic turmoil and Keeping Up With the Kardashians isn't keeping everyone in line, just pump up the supply of hard drugs (making them accessible and cheap in the areas you want them to be). It's like Flavor of Love that you inject! 

To think that this was one of the faces of Public Enemy...

 

...Cocaine... helluva drug

Still alive... Just been lazy

After much pressure and harassment, I'm back. Apparently, people like reading this. So, this goes out to the people who like my ramblings.

So, today, I'm going to discuss feminism. Now, here are a few things I'd like to say before I start on my... critique?... analysis?... talking-out-my-ass? One of those.

First and foremost, I am a feminist. I believe women are equal to men. Plain and simple. Also, I believe that the system in most countries favors men over women. I don't like that shit. I don't like that shit at all. I believe women should be able to do whatever they like, and there shouldn't be any double standards. Now, I am NOT saying women are men. I am not saying that at all. I don't have sexual relations with men; not that there is anything wrong with sexual relations with men, but men kinda kill my boner.

Now that that's all out of the way, let's go piece by piece, subject by subject, something by something else. Feminism is not one giant unchanging concept. Weird, right? It has a lot of manifestations. My biggest problem is with Western Feminism. This is the sort that is the sort that is championed by middle to upper class white women. You see a lot of this kind of feminism on Tumblr. We also call it Tumblr Feminism. Anyway, moving on.

So, where to start... where to start. Well, let's start with clothes. Simple, right? 

Behold the results for "Hipster Girl Outfit"

 

Now, I don't support cat-calling. Actually, I'm sort of conflicted on this one. There's the joking cat-calling old men do that is really just innocent fun because they have lost all sense of shame because they are so old. Old Puerto Rican guys do this, and it's sort of an ongoing joke through the generations. It's like an old woman flirting with a young man. Sure, it's a bit uncomfortable, but as long as it's playful, there's no harm. The cat-calling I don't like is the aggressive kind. You know, the kind that leads to a guy following a girl a couple of blocks. What does this have to do with clothes? Not a lot, I just kinda got ahead of myself. Back to clothes... TOO LATE TO EDIT!

So, the picture above. If a woman wears that and she gets attention from men/ aggressive lesbians, I understand why. This was the uniform in Brooklyn. EVERY FUCKIN' GIRL WORE THIS. Now, I'm not saying she deserves any sexual attention. Her intentions may not be to draw that sort of attention to her, but here's the deal... We live in THIS world, not some alternate utopian reality. We all have to operate in our environments. If I were to show a little cock cleavage... That's where you sag your pants while not wearing underwear and show a little dick neck, I would most likely be a) arrested b) not allowed within 1000 ft of a school and c) hit on by gay men. Let's focus on result c. I may want to wear my dick cleavage pants, but the reality of it is that I live in a world where dick cleavage gets gay male attention.

That isn't my biggest problem with the Hipstress's outfit. During what time of year would anyone wear that. A long, plaid shirt and super-short, high-wasted, jean shorts? With boots... WITH FUCKIN' BOOTS! It isn't for summer in any place I know of. You'd be sweating your ass off. It isn't winter because you'd be freezing your ass off. WHEN WOULD YOU WEAR SUCH AN ABSURD OUTFIT?!

 

Then, there is the issue of practicality. Those shorts don't cover shit, almost literally. If that girl bends over to pick up something, you'd be able to see her asshole. HER LITERAL ASSHOLE. Then, these things are high-waisted. Bending over would be horrible. Your guts would be smushed. Jeans are not known for their flexibility nor are they known for being breathable. Swamp ass, anyone? Everywhere you sit will be a slug trail of sweat. It can't protect your skin from any surface you plop your ass on. I sure hope that car she's sitting on is room temperature because if it isn't... well, you know. So, why would anyone wear these? WHO WOULD MAKE SUCH REVEALING AND IMPRACTICAL CLOTHING?

 

Men. Men would. 

 

Does that sting? 

 

I get it, you want to wear what you want to wear, but everything you want to wear is what's "in fashion." Do you want to know what's more practical than super-short, high-wasted, unbreathable jean shorts? A mid-to-long flowing skirt made of linen or cotton. Plus, it doesn't overtly sexualize the wearer. It allows a breeze, it's practical, it covers what needs to be covered, it's easy to maneuver in, and it protects your skin from the elements.  

You know... skirts like these. 

 

Let's move onto cleavage. Yes, yes... boobs. Sweet amazing beeeeeeeewbs. Why do you need to have them out? Again, is it practical to wear something that hoists up those bad boys and have them on display. Do you wanna know who has traditionally designed clothes that accentuate the breasts? Men. Are you seeing a pattern? Every part of fashion that really sexualizes women has been created by men.

Push-up bra? Men

Mini-skirt? Men

High-heels? Men

Bikini? Men

So, explain to me how being a slave to fashion empowers women? How does choosing fashion over practicality empower anyone but the patriarchy?

It's different here in Turkey. Women aren't shy about their intentions for fashion choices. It's because it's in style right now, or they think men like it. You may scoff at their "simpleness," but American and other Western women are just better at lying to themselves when they follow fashion trends. Often, the response I've gotten is that they want to wear what they want to wear; it isn't to attract men. Fair enough. But why is it that you want to wear THAT? "I think it's cute" is shallow and irrelevant answer. How are you supposed to empower yourself if you refuse to be self-critical. Essentially, you stole the cause of feminism and turned it into "I WANNA DO WHAT I WANNA DO!" It's like a teenage girl who gets upset because her father won't let her leave the house wearing whatever all the cool kids are wearing. As much as men sexualize and objectify women, lots of women's clothes are designed to sexualize the wearer.

Look, men do it too. I recently bought a new outfit. The only reason is because I am interested in the opposite sex. Is it practical? Meh. Is it comfortable? Not really, but the jeans are lovely I must say. Never thought I'd say that, but the jeans are comfy. Anyway, as much as I'd love to wait for a girl who looks past my disheveled appearance and sees me for the bright sparkling ball of bat shit hilarious insanity that I am, I can't. The world doesn't work that way. The only girls that are willing to do that are usually ones with low standards and issues because, sorry guys, people go off of observation and appearance. I can fight this system of reality, but I'll end up empty-handed every time and that isn't what I want.

Plus, the jeans were mad fuckin' cheap.

I'm not going to start on make-up. If you want to wear make-up, fuckin wear make-up. 

You go girl... you go

 

 

Now, onto sex. This irritates me. I admit, I make inappropriate jokes from time to time... those times are usually separated by mere milliseconds. But here's the thing. There are unwanted sexual advances and jokes. One should be met with disgust and the other should be taken in stride. Now, I'm not saying all sex jokes are permissible. If I don't know someone, I won't make them. I'm not perfect at this though. I can only say that mine are never done maliciously. Anyway, what I don't understand is this hostility toward all sex jokes. Sometimes, I just sit there in awe and wonder "does this person not know what sex is?" I mean, we all have it. There isn't anything inherently shameful about it. We all look at people we don't know, and occasionally think, "I totally want to have sex with them." It's part of being human. If I jokingly say, "Oh my god, I would love it if that chick over there sat on my face" or "Yeah, I'd lick her butt," understand that I would never in a million years say that to her. I'm just trying to entertain you with my vulgar and absurd antics. Hell, I don't actually want her to sit on my face, only after taking a decent shower to wash off a day's worth of crotch sweat and shit stains. Yeah, women sweat and shit. Acknowledging that aloud isn't disgusting; what's disgusting about humanizing someone else? You'd rather I think that women are these pristine objects that stay in their original packaging until I cast it aside as I mount them? What are you, a child? Are you suggesting that I shouldn't want to have sex with people I don't know? Isn't that a little ridiculous? Are you advocating incest or celibacy? Why do you hate sex?

This is my biggest problem with this brand of feminism. Why is there so much contradiction when it comes to sex?! FUCKING PICK A GODDAMN SIDE AND STICK WITH IT! Have a coherent argument! ANYTHING! They want to have sex when they want to have sex (which is fine, you do you boo), but refuse to stand alongside their sisters who work in the sex industry. You wanna know which industry needs feminism the most? The sex industry. Call girls, escorts, cam girls, porn actresses, strippers, etc. Women that men are not above using their services, but God forbid they want to be treated as human beings. There is this consistent making them the victim among these sorts of feminists. "Who would debase themselves to work in the sex industry? They must have issues." Maybe, they like sex... you know... like all of us. Why should it be a shameful thing? Why do you assume that they are somehow damaged? When was the last time you did a massive study on sex workers and came to the conclusion that they have daddy issues? Oh, you didn't? Well, maybe you should take a hearty sip from a glass of "Shut the Fuck Up." 

Men inherently sexualize women. I'm sorry, but it's in our biology. Don't believe me? 

 

 

 

Now, I don't like that fact about me (as a man), but the only way I can combat that is being aware of what my brain naturally does. Women who decide to embrace and profit from men's constant sexualizing are not inherently broken or subservient to men. There is money to be had, and they are adhering to that demand... Woo, economics! Computers are a big thing right now: if I pursue a career in IT, does that mean I subservient to computers or are there any judgements on my character? No, because that would be stupid. Most of the women in the sex industry are just normal women... the others are reptilian Illuminati shapeshifters. Why has this brand of feminism neglected this issue? Instead, they want to talk about how empowering Nikki Minaj and Miley Cyrus and Iggy Azaela are. First, no... no, they are not. They are manufactured pop icons that support the status quo. It's not even original anymore. We've already done all this shit! It isn't edgy. It isn't empowering. It's just the same manufactured shit. Nikki Minaj is just a millenial Lil' Kim with much less talent. Lil' Kim and others before her proved that women were more than just sexualized objects in hip-hop, that they too could sexualize and be in power. That's from back in the day though when it was gangsta rap, and that perspective was needed. Now, rap is little more than a multitude of scenarios in a club. How is this a perspective that rap needs? What about intelligent, conscious, female hip-hop? Especially given all the issues revolving around the black community. Minstrel shit isn't speaking to that. Where's a female Kendrick Lamar? 

 

 

Just putting these three random picture here... nothing to see here

 

People really got to stop trying to make something outta "pop fodder." You really think the powers-that-be are going to put out an empowering, female voice? No. No, they are not. They want you to keep buying shit. Now, my critique of feminism is only limited to modern Western feminism. My womanists, keep strong. My third-world feminists, keep strong. My true feminists, keep strong. If any of this shit offended you, it's cool. You can't question your position if you're comfortable. PEACE!

 

 

About Bulgaria...

Yeah, so I didn't go to Bulgaria. Long story. Well... I mean, not really... my branch (of the school I work for... not a literal branch from a tree) was bought, and so the new owner will handle my residence stuff. I'm not worried...

"You've just won a trip to America!"

Hopefully, you guys are smart enough to figure out what I'm hinting at about my current circumstances. Again, I'm not stressed. I just don't want to put it in writing... on the internet... for the world.

So, in order for me to get my ADHD medicine here, I gotta go see a psychologist. At first, I thought it was just a very talkative psychiatrist... then, I realized I was in a therapy session. That's always awkward. And here I was thinking my psychiatrist had the hots for me... Kinda makes the whole "whipping out my penis" thing a little inappropriate. Lucky for me, I haven't learned the word for "sorry" in Turkish, and I never will. LON DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR SHIT!

I'm happy this exists

Anyway, so she (the psychologist) asks me how it would feel if I had to go back to the US. Immediately, I knew how it would feel. It would feel as if I were going back to prison. My students don't understand it. They know America from the movies. I tell them that even I ask myself when watching those films "Holy shit! Where is that?" They don't understand why I don't want to go back. Shit, why would I? If moving back is like going back to prison, why the fuck would I want to visit prison after living there. Even in prison, you have friends and family, but it doesn't mean you want to go there. I will just wait for them to get out if they ever do.

Some of you may not understand how the US is like prison. Why isn't it the greatest country to grace the face of the earth? No. No, it is not. Not now. Not then. Not ever. NEVER. I can't stress that enough. My students are baffled by some of the stuff I tell them. They are appalled by our healthcare system. Even with Obamacare. Matter of fact, I don't even live in the country, and I have to purchase health insurance or pay a $600-something fine. For me, even the cheapest option is more than $600 a year. Furthermore, that cheap option doesn't really cover anything. I pay for health insurance just so I don't get a $600 fine. Sorry, but fuck that.

You see, here, you can buy health insurance and go to a nice hospital, but there is also other options. Government hospitals are cheap and accessible. Oh, and using the ambulance is also very cheap, if not free. My students look at me horrified when I tell them about friends of mine who had a heart attack and drove themselves to the hospital because they couldn't afford the ambulance bill. Or my other friend who broke his wrist playing high school football and had to "fix it" himself because his family was too broke for a hospital. Their logical question is whether or not these individuals American citizens, as if this would make it excusable. Of course they are citizens, but it's America. Shit costs money.

Then, there's the trash. Here, the city picks it up. You pay taxes, so the city picks it up. Easy, right? In America (at least where I was), you gotta pay a company to pick it up. Then, why the fuck do I pay taxes to my city? What the fuck are they doing with the money? 

Oh... a new stadium... how could I forget

Then, comes the cost of education. Fuck, just the cost of existing. What's the American Dream? Go to college, get a car, buy a house, and raise a family. Funny how all those things will land your ass in hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. You will work and work until you die, and hopefully, you will never lose your job. Sure, the bank won't take your shit at first, but interest is still a bitch. I never want to be in debt ever again. Right now, I've got $40,000 or so. That shit is building interest. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to pay it, but I ain't going to be living in America as I do. Everything is stacked against you. With a few exceptions, public transportation is a joke (so you need a car). Most places in America are more pro-business than pro-worker, so good luck with the whole work thing. As stated before, the government doesn't provide citizens with shit. Oh, I mean, there's welfare... but all welfare does is allow you to survive, and you are constantly shamed by your fellow citizens for being on it. Nope, I'll stay abroad.

My question is what's next for all of you? The rat race is nice and all, but then what? Shit isn't getting any better. Sure, we got Sanders in the race, but that doesn't change Congress. My advice: jump ship before it sinks, and work like hell to get your loved ones out. 

On a more positive note, I downloaded Bioshock on my computer. Awesome! YAY!

 MY DICK CANNOT GET ANY HARDER!

Changing things up...

I know the title says that I'm changing things up... I lied. I've changed NOTHING!

So, what will I write about? Should I write about politics? World affairs? My feelings? I HAVE NO FEELINGS!

Happiness tastes like sand in my mouth

Anyway, I have to leave the country. I mean, for like 5 minutes just to renew my visa. But, I get a free trip to Bulgaria! Woooooooo! Wait, do they have gulags in Bulgaria? Am I being racist? ARE BULGARIANS A RACE OF PEOPLE?!

Only mild excitement is allowed in Bulgaria

I get to see a lot more of Turkey... I mean, the European side... along the highway... but that's more than just Istanbul. Hopefully, I don't get stuck in Bulgaria. I barely speak Turkish, and I speak no Bulgarian. None. I don't know how to say hello or thank you. I can only speak English in a corny Russian accent. I'm sure if I just refer to everyone as comrade, I'll get along just fine. Let me do some research...

Researching is much like contemplating eating my keyboard

 

Alright, so according to my research, if you encounter a Bulgarian in the forest, you need to put your arms up and pretend to be bigger. Also, if that fails, play dead or run down hill. Bulgarians are afraid of dead bodies and hills. 

So, wish me luck. This is a brief one, but at least it's something. 

I'll end with this... sometimes, I secretly hope a seagull (there are a lot where I live) bursts into my bathroom while I'm pooping  and attacks me just so I could have an interesting story.

What's sad is that I'm not making that up... yep...