So, what will I write about? Should I write about politics? World affairs? My feelings? I HAVE NO FEELINGS!
Happiness tastes like sand in my mouth
Anyway, I have to leave the country. I mean, for like 5 minutes just to renew my visa. But, I get a free trip to Bulgaria! Woooooooo! Wait, do they have gulags in Bulgaria? Am I being racist? ARE BULGARIANS A RACE OF PEOPLE?!
Only mild excitement is allowed in Bulgaria
I get to see a lot more of Turkey... I mean, the European side... along the highway... but that's more than just Istanbul. Hopefully, I don't get stuck in Bulgaria. I barely speak Turkish, and I speak no Bulgarian. None. I don't know how to say hello or thank you. I can only speak English in a corny Russian accent. I'm sure if I just refer to everyone as comrade, I'll get along just fine. Let me do some research...
Researching is much like contemplating eating my keyboard
Alright, so according to my research, if you encounter a Bulgarian in the forest, you need to put your arms up and pretend to be bigger. Also, if that fails, play dead or run down hill. Bulgarians are afraid of dead bodies and hills.
So, wish me luck. This is a brief one, but at least it's something.
I'll end with this... sometimes, I secretly hope a seagull (there are a lot where I live) bursts into my bathroom while I'm pooping and attacks me just so I could have an interesting story.
What's sad is that I'm not making that up... yep...
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