So since I'm a lazy bastard, I've decided to remedy this by blogging from my phone. I'm going to regret this decision, but THE SHOW MUST GO ON. I'm just astounded how low I've fallen (by blogging on my phone... my dignity has always been rock bottom, LAWLZ).
As you can imagine, this post will be short, but all is well. I'm legally in this country, so that's a definite plus. My friend Mo is coming to visit me here in Istanbul at the end of November. That's pretty cool, right. My Turkish is coming along... not quickly, but it's coming (like your mother was last night... unless of course you're related to me, in which I retract the "your mother" statement. The women in my family are notorious for not being able to achieve orgasm and I will hear nothing to the contrary. I say GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR).
Well, that was quite a parenthesised tangent.
"But, Lon... what about your views on the political-"
Shut your whore mouths. Do the world a favor and vote Trump. Let America implode on its own batshit insanity and die with the virtually non-existent dignity it might have. The world will thank you.
"And what about a girlfr-"
Don't jinx me, motherfuckers. I don't want to put it print because that means it's real, and I'm not allowed to have nice things. So, silence I say!
I need to add a picture to this... ugh... let me see... let me see... hmmmm..
